Assassination in America

Brothers and Sisters,

The past week have been a storm of emotions — waves of deep sadness, grief, fear, and anger crashing over us one after another. The only moment in my living memory of such grief is 9/11, when we felt that terrible wound — not only an attack on lives, but on the very idea of America itself. 

Perhaps that is why the assassination of Charlie cuts so deeply. It feels like more than the loss of an innocent man. It feels like an assault on what we hold most dear: the freedom to speak, the right to hold convictions, the God-given dignity of every person, and the very Christian faith that grounds our lives.

Political and cultural voices are abuzz, analyzing the event, debating its causes, naming culprits, and speculating about what might come next. The air is thick with blame, anger, fear, and - grievously - even moments of glee.

But what about us?
What are we to do with our own hearts and tears in this moment?
What are we to do as families gathered around our tables?
What are we to do as the Church of Jesus Christ, called to be salt and light in such a dark hour?

One picture I often share with our children to help them consider their response to life's storms is the image of waves, boats, and anchors, each representing three kinds of people.

The waves are the ones who create chaos. They are restless and unrestrained, moved by impulse rather than wisdom. They crash, churn, and break apart whatever lies in their path. Its rather easy to be a wave.

The boats are those who are at the mercy of the waves. They are carried wherever the current takes them, reacting to every gust of wind and swell of emotion. When the waves rage, they rage. When the waves panic, they panic.   

The anchors, however, are different. They do not become waves, and they do not drift like boats. They dig deep. They hold fast. They know storms will come, waves will crash, and boats will be tossed — but they themselves need not be moved. 

In the days and months ahead, many words will be spoken about Charlie. But what we witnessed in his life was clear: he was neither a wave nor a boat — he was an anchor. And he could be an anchor because, first and foremost, Jesus Christ had saved him. Charlie sought to trust his Savior in everything, and that deep faith gave him the moral clarity and courage of conviction by which he lived. 

Now the challenge before us is this: to refuse to be waves, to refuse to be boats, and to take up the calling to be anchors. Our world is desperate for anchors — men and women who will stand firm in Christ when the storm rages.

So back to the question: What do we do with ourselves? What do we do as families? What do we do as the Church?

1. Be Anchored in Christ

Our Lord told us that those who follow Him would be hated, mocked, persecuted, and even put to death for His name’s sake — so we should not be surprised. But He also promised, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Take comfort in His goodness, mercy, and forgiveness toward you. Before anger, bitterness, and the noise of political rhetoric on social media shape your heart, let God’s Word shape your mind (Romans 12:2). Bring your grief and fear to Him in prayer, and ask Him to fill you with His grace, wisdom, and courage.

2. Treasure Your Family

Hug your spouse. Hold your children. Call your parents. Embrace your friends. Life is a precious and fragile gift. Give thanks for the people God has entrusted to you. Love them faithfully, sacrificially, and joyfully. The single greatest way we push back against the darkness is by building homes that honor and serve Jesus Christ. 

3. Boldly Stand on Truth

The church father Tertullian once said, “The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church.” When believers witness others living and speaking the truth — and dying for that truth — it strengthens the entire Body of Christ to stand firm. I am personally emboldened by my brother’s courageous witness in the face of evil. This is our calling as well: to shine as light in the darkness, no matter the cost. And we do this not only as individuals but as a community. Trinity, though we may feel small or insignificant, are a phalanx in the Lord’s army — standing shoulder to shoulder, shield to shield, engaged in a very real and high-stakes spiritual battle. We follow in our Master's train. 

If you don’t have a place to worship this Sunday, I would like to personally invite you to join us at Trinity San Antonio this Sunday at 10:30am.

4. Pray for Our Nation

Our nation is deeply broken — and no system, politician, judge, or president can fix it. Those are only mirrors reflecting the soul of the people. And what we see right now is a divided soul. The only hope for America is not a new policy but a new heart — hearts transformed by the grace of Jesus Christ. Let us pray earnestly for revival, asking God to begin His work in our own hearts and to sweep across this land with repentance, healing, and faith.

5. Talk with Someone.

I realize this is impacting everyone differently. Some wonder why there is so much emotion, while others are shattered. If you are finding yourself closer to the latter response, I encourage you to grab coffee with someone at church or a close friend and talk about it. Talk about what you are feeling, what you are thinking, and how it's impacting you. This is how normal humans process such tragic events. Tears are okay, emotions are normal, questions are healthy. As always, I am available to visit on the phone or in-person, as are both of our elders.

I'll leave you with a quote from our beloved J.R.R. Tolkien from his Fellowship of the Ring:

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.

"So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” 

May our Lord Jesus Christ strengthen us to be faithful followers in these days we have been given. 

If you don’t have a church home, you are invited to join us this Sunday at 10:30am! You can learn more on our website: www.trinitysa.org

Grace and peace,

Pastor Matthew Ballmann

What Is Keeping You from Being Content?

What Is Keeping You from Being Content?

Contentment is one of the greatest challenges in life. In a world that constantly tells us we need more—more money, more success, more possessions—it’s easy to feel like we’re always lacking something. But Scripture teaches us that true contentment is not found in what we have but in who we trust.

Paul, writing from prison, declared:
“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:11-13)

So, what is keeping you from being content?

1. Comparison – When we constantly compare our lives to others, we lose sight of the blessings God has already given us. “But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content." (1 Timothy 6:8)

2. Fear and Worry – Anxiety about the future can rob us of joy today. But Jesus reminds us, “Do not be anxious about your life... your heavenly Father knows that you need them all." (Matthew 6:25-32)

3. Lack of Trust in God’s Provision – We sometimes struggle to believe that God will provide for our needs. Yet Hebrews 13:5 tells us, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’"

4. Discomfort - Our natural reaction is to allow our contentment and joy to be dictated by our external circumstances. The voice in our head sounds something like this, “if I didn’t have this struggle then I could be happy.” The lie we believe is that the challenge is keeping us from the joy Christ wants to give us. But the truth is just the opposite. Christ wants us to experience His peace exactly in the struggles.

5. Possessions - We fall into the trap of thinking that if we could just have that house, or live in that location, or get those new shoes, then we would be happy and content. What are you believing is the possession that will finally bring you contentment in life?

Contentment is not about settling for less; it’s about trusting that in Christ, we already have everything we need. True peace comes when we rest in the sufficiency of Christ, knowing that He is our greatest treasure.

What is keeping you from being content today?

Let go of the things that steal your joy and rest in the unshakable promises of God in Christ Jesus.

In Christ,

Pr. Matthew+

My Daughter Died During Lent

What follows is the story of my daughter’s death and my family’s journey through it. If you worry that may be too difficult to read the message is similar to the eulogy I gave for her. Which you can listen to instead here.

Today is the first Friday of Lent. Friday's during Lent are traditionally days of sacrifice. Five years ago on the first Friday of Lent my daughter died. That unwilling sacrifice became, in time, a tremendous blessing. Before I share some of the lessons my family learned, some backstory is in order.

In 2016, my wife was blessed with a pregnancy. We had a toddler son at the time so we excitedly hid the gender to preserve the surprise. Unfortunately there was something far worse hidden, an unwelcome surprise. Around 20 weeks into the pregnancy we discovered what doctors called multicystic renal dysplasia. In layman's terms her ureter formed improperly causing urine to back up in her kidneys leading to failure. Because the kidneys failed there was insufficient amniotic fluid for wet tissue organs to develop. Her lungs were the wet tissue organs failing to develop. As this flurry of medical terms hit us there was two phrases that stood out "not compatible with life" and "death sentence". The doctor asked us when we wanted to terminate. I sort of snapped to and the only question I could muster was, "Wait are we talking about abortion?" Every recommendation was just that. We opted to bring her to term, knowing that she would likely die within hours. For the next few months we, our family, our church, and strangers I've still never met prayed for a miracle. We prayed for healing. With tears in my eyes I asked God for any other way. When she was born it was immediately clear that her lungs were too weak. And so, I baptized her in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. My family held her. We took photos with her. We prayed over her. And within a couple hours she died in her mother's arms.

This is no easy story. It's painful to write. It's difficult to read. I want to acknowledge that if you're still here. This isn't the uplifting post you read while gently sipping your morning coffee. And yet, it is a perfect story for Lent. Christians for almost two thousand years have observed 40 days of sacrifice in preparation for Easter. Why? It's not to mortify ourselves or solely some ascetism. It's to reorient our hearts and minds. It's to free us to be more generous than we were. In the words of prophet Joel, we are to "rend our hearts" and "call a solemn assembly" (Joel 2:13,15). I can promise you on that day five years ago my heart was rent, it was a solemn day.

It was the hardest day of my life. I would not wish it on anyone. And yet, it, like a Lenten sacrifice reoriented my heart. Throughout my family could only describe our ability to face the moment as the grace of God. And since, it has given me several occasions to give answer to "the hope that is in [me]" (1 Peter 3:15). I didn't choose to give my daughter back to the Lord on that Friday in Lent; but in time I've come recognize the immense ways He has blessed my family since. He used the circumstances to create even greater faith in us, ever greater reliance on Him, and a more sincere gratitude for the gift of life that He gives. And just like the promise of Easter awaits in Lent, the promise of the resurrection awaits in death. One day death will be finally, ultimately, perpetually dead. "There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away" (Revelation 21:4).

About the Author

David Hein is husband to Mindi, father to Kirk, Wesley, and Caleb and a member of Trinity San Antonio. August Marie Hein was born, baptized, and ushered into the presence of her Father on March 3, 2017.

Why you should consider making the sign of the cross on yourself

The Sign of the Cross

Growing up I always thought someone making the sign of the cross on themselves was a pointless and superstitious gesture that just made the people doing it look silly. For real.

I’ve since changed my mind.

I have now come to believe it a very powerful reminder to myself that I have been saved by Christ’s finished work on Calvary and a bold statement to those around me of my faith and hope. And while certainly not required, I would humbly suggest it is a practice that Christians of all traditions would greatly benefit from in practicing.

Here is a brief introduction into this very ancient Christian gesture:

What is the sign of the cross?  

The sign of the cross is an ancient Christian practice of marking the shape of the cross of Christ upon one’s self or upon another person or object.

What does crossing myself with the cross mean?

The sign of the cross is a physical gesture that signifies a spiritual reality. In the same way that in placing our right hand over your heart and reciting the pledge of allegiance declares a statement of belief, hope, and solidarity, so in like manner, crossing oneself with the sign of the cross is a distinctively Christian gesture that is a statement of belief and hope. This simple act reminds us that:

1. We have been bought and purchased by the finished work of Christ on the cross (“sign of the cross”).

2. We have been marked with the name of the Triune God in our baptisms (all Christians baptisms are in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit).

3. We continue to look and trust in Christ at all times and situations.

4. We boldly and unashamedly declare to the world that we are Christ-followers.  

Do I have to do it? 

Not at all! It is a matter of Christian freedom and completely optional. You may or may not feel comfortable doing it yourself, or you may not do it as often as your neighbor. That’s okay. But when the sign of the cross is made, whether by pastor or people, let this be the proclamation: Christ has died for your sins upon the cross; in Baptism he shares that cross with you; because you share in His cross, you are a child of God and are precious in His sight.

What did the early Church say about it? 

The early Church Fathers attested to the use of the sign of the cross. Here are a few comments from the first several hundred years of the church. 

Tertullian (250 A.D.) described the commonness of the sign of the cross: “In all our travels and movements, in all our coming in and going out, in putting on our shoes, at the bath, at the table, in lighting our candles, in lying down, in sitting down, whatever employment occupies us, we mark our foreheads with the sign of the cross” (De corona, 30). And in another place he said, “We Christians wear out our foreheads with the sign of the cross.”

Athanasius of Alexandria (269–373 A.D.) said, “By the signing of the holy and life-giving cross, devils and various scourges are driven away. For it is without price and without cost and praises him who can say it. The holy fathers have, by their words, transmitted to us, and even to the unbelieving heretics, how the two raised fingers and the single hand reveal Christ our God in His dual nature but single substance. The right hand proclaims His immeasurable strength, His sitting on the right hand of the Father, and His coming down unto us from Heaven. Again, by the movement of the hands to our right the enemies of God will be driven out, as the Lord triumphs over the Devil with His inconquerable power, rendering him dismal and weak.”

St. Cyril of Jerusalem (386 A.D.) in his Catechetical Lectures stated, “Let us then not be ashamed to confess the Crucified. Be the cross our seal, made with boldness by our fingers on our brow and in everything; over the bread we eat and the cups we drink, in our comings and in our goings out; before our sleep, when we lie down and when we awake; when we are traveling, and when we are at rest” (Catecheses, 13).  

How do I make the sign of the cross on myself? 

Touch your head at the naming of the Father; then bring your hand to the middle of your chest (over your heart) at the naming of the Son. At the naming of the Holy Spirit, touch your right shoulder and then your left shoulder. The Eastern tradition of the Christian church goes right to left, while the Western tradition is left to right. Either is good!  

When is it appropriate to make the sign of the cross? 

Anytime throughout the day you feel led to or whenever you desire to be reminded of God’s presence with you and your reliance upon Him. You may do it before an especially important meeting, when you are being tempted by sin, as you drive, when you pray, before and/or after meals, and when you wake up and when you go to bed.   

During the worship service it is especially appropriate to cross oneself at (1) the beginning of the service during the Invocation (In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit), (2) after the Declaration of Grace; (3) during the Creed when we declare our belief in the resurrection (“Resurrection of the body”), (4) after receiving the Holy Eucharist, (5) upon receiving the closing benediction when the pastor makes the sign of the cross upon the congregation.  

A final word

If you have never made the sign of the cross, it will feel a little awkward when you first start. That’s okay. Once you have done it a few weeks it becomes quite natural and second nature. A good way to ease into it is crossing yourself at the beginning and end of your personal prayers and go from there. It is also a wonderful way to disciple your children at meals and when putting them to bed.

May the Lord’s grace and peace be upon you!

Feast of All Saints' Day

Helping families find ways to allow the life-giving truth of Christ to permeate day-to-day life is something we are passionate about here at Trinity! Following the church year can be a great way to do this, so today we are talking about All Saints' Day, celebrated on November 1st.

What is All Saints' Day?

Originally All Saints' Day was a day set aside to remember the martyrs of the early church, who had given their lives for their faith in Christ. Today we remember not only these martyrs, but all the faithful who have died in Christ, encompassing the faithful in the Bible, the early church, the more recent past, and even friends or family members who are now in heaven. 1 Corinthians 1:2 tells us that all who are in Christ are saints. The word "saint" is derived from a Greek verb (hagiazo) whose basic meaning is "to set apart, " "sanctify, " or "make holy." This title doesn't just belong to a select few Christians but to each and every person who has been forgiven in Christ Jesus. What Memorial Day is to America, All Saints’ Day is to the Church, a day of remembrance and thankfulness.

Why celebrate All Saints' Day?

All Saints' Day is a great opportunity to reflect on God's faithfulness, to thank Him for the example of faithful believers, and to be inspired by this example. This could be a great time to share with your kids about a faithful grandparent or mentor who God used to draw you closer to Him. You might want to read the story of a faithful saint from the Bible, or a biography of a missionary or early church figure. As we retell the story of the faithful Christians who have gone before, we give our children (and ourselves) a vision for what God could do through us, and our hearts are drawn in faith and praise to Him for His work throughout the ages in ordinary individuals just like us.

How can we celebrate All Saints' Day?

Here are a few ideas to choose from for celebrating this day with your family:

1) Attend a service at a church that celebrates All Saints' Day. At Trinity this Sunday Pastor Matthew will preach on this theme.

2) Read and discuss a passage of Scripture that talks about the saints throughout time, such as: Revelation 7:2-17.

3) Read a biography about a famous Christian from history. Here are a few of our favorites:

Trial and Triumph: Stories from Church History by Richard Hannula

Patrick: Patron Saint of Ireland by Tomie DePaola

Martin Luther: A Man Who Changed the World by Paul Maier

The Simonetta Carr biographies

Missionary biographies

4) Share about the life of a faithful Christian you knew personally who is now in heaven, and take a moment to thank God as a family for this saint.

5) All Saints Prayer to pray as a family

Almighty and everlasting God, You knit together Your faithful people of all times and places into one holy communion, the mystical body of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Grant us so to follow Your blessed saints in all virtuous and godly living that, together with them, we may come to the unspeakable joys You have prepared for those who love You; through Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.

(Treasury of Daily Prayer)

Let's take some time this November 1st to thank God for the faithful that make up the body of Christ; in heaven and on earth, famous or little known, and to be encouraged to trust in His faithfulness to help us and our children run the race He has for us!