We are living in a time of crisis. Masculinity is under attack, distorted, and often dismissed. But the statistics speak for themselves:
40% of children in the U.S. are born to unmarried mothers (only 4% in 1940).
In some inner-city communities, that number rises to 70%.
Nearly 1 in 4 children—about 19 million—grow up without a father in the home.
70% of men in prison grew up in fatherless homes.
Approximately 90% of homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes.
When men abdicate their God-given role, or are publicly shamed in carrying out their calling - children suffer, women suffer, society suffers. But when men flourish as husbands, fathers, and leaders, communities are strengthened and culture thrives.
Yet the cultural conversation offers little hope. Some voices demonize masculinity altogether (“toxic masculinity”). Others distort it into domination and abuse (the Andrew Tate model: power and pleasure). Still others reduce manhood to stereotypes: sports, beer, trucks, and shallow bravado. Many men, unsure of what true masculinity is, retreat into silence, feeling discouraged, lonely, and stuck.
The Church proclaims a better word. Masculinity is not toxic. It is not trivial. It is not abuse. Masculinity is a gift from God, revealed in His Word and embodied in the person of Jesus Christ.
Christ: The Perfect Man
The world gives us John Wayne and James Bond. Scripture gives us Jesus Christ — the true man, the new Adam, the image of God made flesh. In Him we see what masculinity is meant to be.
Here are five pillars of Christlike masculinity that is not exclusive to a few gifted men, but can be true of every man regardless of age, education, or social status.
1. Identity as a Son
At His baptism and transfiguration, Jesus heard: “This is my beloved Son.” Masculinity begins here — not with achievement but with identity received from the Father. In Christ, we too are sons. We live not to earn identity but from it.
St. Augustine once wrote of his restless heart until it found rest in God. His life was transformed when he realized he was not defined by sin or status, but by belonging to the Father through Christ. Like Augustine, many men spend their lives chasing affirmation. In Jesus, the Father already says: “You are my beloved son.”
How does knowing your identity as a beloved son of God change the way you think about being a man today?
2. Submission to God
Adam fell by rejecting God’s Word; Christ triumphed by saying, “Not my will, but Yours be done.” True manhood is obedience and submission to God. While our culture often recoils at the word “submission,” it is here that we live our greatest and fullest lives. Submission is to bring our lives under and in line with the Eternal, Holy, Good, and Gracious Triune God. Contrary to what our culture says, submission is not weakness but strength. St. Athanasius wrote, “The strength of the Christian man is not in dominating others, but in submitting to God.”
In what areas of your life do you find it hardest to submit to God’s authority? What does true masculine strength in obedience look like in that area?
3. Purposeful Mission
At age 12 Jesus said, “I must be about my Father’s business.” His mission was clear: “The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Our mission is also clear: to love God, serve our families, build the church, and bless the world. The Church refers to our living out our mission as our “vocations,” that is those places we have responsibilities to love, serve, care, provide, protect, and guide. These include our vocation as a son of God, son of the Church, son of our parents, husband, and father.
What mission or purpose do you believe God has entrusted to you right now — in your family, work, church, or community?
4. Pursuing Virtue
Holiness is belonging to God; virtue is the habit of living it out. Every choice bends our souls straight or crooked. With God’s Spirit, men grow in courage, justice, faith, and love.
St. Anthony of Egypt left everything to seek holiness in the desert, cultivating a life of prayer and virtue that shaped Christian monasticism. His disciplined pursuit of God inspired generations. Today, virtue may not mean the desert — but it does mean daily habits that align our hearts with Christ.
What habits or virtues are you currently cultivating that reflect Christ, and what habits are bending you crooked?
5. Loving Sacrifice
The climax of masculinity is the cross. Christ laid down His life for us. True manhood is not self-indulgence but self-giving: to protect, provide, and cultivate for others.
St. Maximilian Kolbe, a Catholic priest, offered his life in Auschwitz in place of another man with a wife and children. He died so another could live. That is masculinity: not domination but sacrificial love.
Where is God calling you to lay down selfishness and love sacrificially — for your wife, children, church, or neighbors?
A Call to Men
The world doesn’t need more men who are selfish, passive, or abusive. It needs men who live like Christ: men who know their identity, submit to God, live on mission, pursue virtue, and sacrifice in love.
Brothers, this is your high calling. God created you with dignity. Christ redeemed you with His blood. The Spirit empowers you even now.
So rise up. Reject the lies. Embrace the truth. Live as sons of the Father, brothers of Christ, and men of God.